Have you ever bumped into an ex of yours? Someone you dated a few times? A friend of an ex? Or an ex best friend? What if all of the above situations happened in one week? That was me the last week of 2022.
The night of ex's started on my way to see Avatar with a few friends. We decided to get In-N-Out before, because YUM. Right after I order my double-double, I see this really handsome guy trying to secure a table. The In-N-Out was packed, typical, so I go up to him and ask if he's waiting for the table (yes, this was my way to flirt with him) and he was (which I knew) but to my surprise - I know him, it is a friend of my most recent Ex. Great. And so you have the full picture to understand the relationship with this guy - I only met him a few times, but the turning point was when he messaged me on Grindr after my ex and I broke up. This was only a few days after I found out my ex cheated on me while I was in Maui for my 30th birthday (which he decided not to come to - long story). So - yes - I hooked up with him, and yes it was out of spite, but truthfully never believed my ex would find out about it. I thought this friend knew who I was and wouldn't say anything either. For me, it was like the nail in the coffin, I knew if I did this, there was no going back to a relationship with my ex, which I was scared that I might do - even after I found out he cheated.
We talk and ask how things are, he asks if I still talk to my ex, and we find out we both do not, "probably for the better" he says - true. He let me know he really didn't know who I was. We ended it with a nice to see you, and a lingering sense he wanted to see me again. Phew - time to eat and watch Avatar.
After the 3 and a half hour movie my friend still wants to go out to the bars - I rarely go out, like I don't even remember the last time I have. As we just arrive, walking past Hi-Tops, someone is calling my name, oh double take, it's Blake. We used to date - if you want to call it that or hookup 6 years ago when I lived in OC - the terms were confusing. Blake was that kind of first love, dreamy, cool, hot, hippyish guy that swept me off my feet. I loved being with him, it was fun, exciting and chill. The problem with Blake was that he could not commit, and as I learned still has not been able to commit. He says he is in LA for the night for a friends birthday. What a weird coincidence, right? We wind up talking and spending the whole night together. I think it was the first time he opened up a bit about how he felt, which was really nice to hear. To sum it up, I was very special to him and he did not realize how much so back then, he was sorry for how things ended. I am not sure how many can relate to this but wow, I really felt like I was taken back 6 years, not in a bad way just that all my feelings were stirring, looking at his face was just as I remembered, and kissing him was like a piece of heaven. I know that no future can ever come with him, it is just special knowing some connections just never will die. For me it is really an indescribable feeling that I only have ever had with a few people in my life so far.
Fast forward a few days, I am in New York to spend Christmas with my family. I meet up with my bestie Brooke in the city for dinner, some drinks, and of course to dance the night away. Originally our plan was to to head to the Eagle, and meet a friend from LA. At the last minute I decided to change it, stay in the area and check out Rise Bar. It's weird - you don't live in a city anymore and you forget whats the poppin place. We walk in, look for coat check, and bam - my ex best friend Danny - he immediately gets up and walks over to us "OMG are you kidding me? Hi! How are you guys?" We have not spoke in 3 years; that is when I started to finally cut people out who do not make my life better. Danny immediately started apologizing for being a shitty friend, he said he was selfish and was not thinking about how he was treating me. It was genuine and honestly nice to hear. We winded up talking and catching up and all dancing together; he also made me unblock him from my phone. For some reason for that hour or two we all danced and hung out, it felt like no time had passed and nothing happened.
It is weird when you have certain deep connections with people, you can see them and it feels like no time has passed. I am not sure if it means anything by seeing these old relationships from my life and also being apologized too/setting the record straight. But jeez it was a lot. I'd like to think that this last week of 2022 was a way for me to see some of my past relationship experiences, ones that hurt, in quite the live real-time snapshot, as a way to show me - this is what you've been through, and now ready for the next, hopefully best, deepest, loving relationships yet.
Kenny
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